


I can only deny you for so long

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst(?), Cheating, Cliffhanger, Denial of Feelings, F/M, I should probably tag, Kind of? Or just unsatisfying ending I guess, M/M, She's not wrapped up in a little bow, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, but like, he still has tantrums cause I say so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sokka is visiting the Fire Nation on business, but of course he wants to hang out with his best buddy Firelord Zuko, too!Lots of talking basically
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 17





	I can only deny you for so long

**Author's Note:**

> Yo 
> 
> So here's the one shot version of this. I might post the full story one day, if I ever finish it. I've only written like 11,000 words of it and I think it'll be long. 
> 
> Was too lazy to add the emphasis back in lol 
> 
> We'll see. 
> 
> Anyhoo, here ya go.

Sokka leaned over the railings of the green metal air ship’s deck as it slowly descended into Caldera city, avidly searching the docks below for Zuko. Usually when one of them was visiting the other, whether it was Zuko coming to Republic City, or Sokka to the Fire nation, they managed to meet each other at the port, or at the very least send a messenger. Sokka grinned when he saw Zuko climb out of a carriage that had just barely pulled up to the docks, leaving dust clouds flying through the wind in its wake. He watched as Zuko shielded his eyes from the low afternoon sun to look up at the descending ship, Sokka waving wildly down at him. He knew the exact moment Zuko spotted him, laughing to himself as Zuko let his hand fall to cover his eyes and shook his head. Whether Zuko was laughing or sighing emphatically, Sokka couldn’t quite tell, but he decided it was a win either way. 

He picked up his bag and made his way around the deck to where it would meet the platform of the dock below, carefully weaving around the crew as they worked to lower the ship and tie it off. The second the ship hit the platform, he launched himself over the side of the railings and walked down the dock, ignoring the protests of the crew as he went. Zuko was clearly trying to glare, but his eyes betrayed his amusement as Sokka approached him. 

“Zuko, buddy, has your hair grown even longer or did you get shorter?” Sokka said, raising his voice above the still churning engines of the air ship behind him. He couldn’t resist making a comment on Zuko’s height, even though he’d been slightly taller than Zuko for at least the last three years. Zuko punched his shoulder as soon as Sokka was in reaching distance, glaring at him. Sokka just laughed.

“Sokka you’re twenty-two, you stopped growing years ago. Would you stop repeating the same joke already?” Zuko shouted, his voice slightly rougher than usual as it strained over the engines. Sokka just shook his head with a grin. 

“Sorry, your firey-ness, someone around here needs to remind you of your place” Sokka said, puffing himself up in an attempt to make himself slightly taller, “Specifically your place an inch shorter than esteemed councillor Sokka.” Sokka said, tilting his nose in the air haughtily. Zuko groaned and grabbed him by both shoulders, turning him around and steering him towards the carriage. 

“Would you just get in?” Zuko said, giving Sokka a harsh shove to try and speed him up. “For Agni’s sake, I have about thirty seconds before my next council meeting and I haven’t even reviewed the notes from the last one.” Zuko grumbled. Sokka reached the carriage and opened the door, throwing his bag on the seat in front of him and climbing in gracelessly. Zuko quickly climbed in behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t wearing his official robes today, instead sporting a burgundy tunic that reached just above his knees over a loose pair of matching trousers. The outfit still outshone Sokka’s travel clothes, featuring all the classic finery and intricate embroidery fit for a Firelord, but Sokka didn’t feel out of place. He’d basically grown up surrounded by dignitaries, officials, and of course royalty who just so happened to be his closest friends. At this point a lack of pomp and circumstance was more noticeable. Sokka watched Zuko settle in to his seat as the carriage pulled off, realising that his friends hair had, in fact, grown some since they were last together. Zuko now wore his hair half up rather than in his customary bun, letting the rest flow down past his shoulders. Sokka liked the new look. He leaned his elbow on his bag next to him, lazing across the seat in the closed carriage. 

“So, no time on the lordly agenda for your old friend today?” He asked, lifting his free hand to sweep a loose strand of hair behind his ear, the beads in his braids clinking together as he brushed them. He didn’t have to look presentable until dinner with a fire nation merchant later that evening, so didn’t bother to try and fix the undoubtably windswept mess of his wolf tail. Zuko sighed and leaned his head back against the carriage wall. 

“Don’t remind me, I haven’t got a moment to breathe for the next three months at least.” Zuko mumbled, closing his eyes. Sokka buried his disappointment, worried that neither he nor Zuko would manage to find any time together during his visit. Sokka would be in the fire nation for the next five days, but his schedule was already pretty packed as it it was. Even so, they usually squeeze in dinner, maybe a sparring session if they got lucky. 

“What’s got you so busy, is the council on your back about something?” Zuko snorted in response, opening his eyes to meet Sokka’s.  
“What aren’t they bothering me about, these days.” Zuko said, clenching his jaw. He exhaled through his nose heavily and fixed his eyes on the view outside the carriage window before continuing. “Anyway, that’s boring. What’s been going on with you? I heard from Katara that you and Suki are still together.” Zuko said, changing the subject away from politics as quickly as he could. 

“Yep” Sokka responded, popping the p, “going on eight months now.” Sokka said smugly, pushing himself up to sit properly on the bench. Zuko hummed in surprise, taking his gaze away from the window and back to his friend.

“Wow, I didn’t realise it had been that long, you guys usually break up after six.” Zuko said with a smirk on his face, clearly teasing Sokka. Sokka rolled his eyes and stretched out his leg to half-heartedly kick Zuko’s shin. 

“Come on, Zuko, we’re not that bad. We’ve stayed together for a full year before!” Sokka replied, grumbling curses at Zuko under his breath. Zuko laughed loudly up to the ceiling of the carriage, his eyes closing with the force of it. “Zuko stop! We were barely even broken up last time.” Sokka was sulking now, but unable to stop the small smile from lifting his lips as he watched his friend laugh. 

“Sokka, you didn’t see each other for four months last time, honestly I don’t know how you keep convincing her to get back together with you.” Zuko said, his amusement still clear on his face and in his voice. Sokka sighed dramatically and told Zuko to shut up. They continued joking as the carriage made its way into the palace, Sokka shoving Zuko’s shoulder once they got out and were walking up to the large painted doors. It turned out that Zuko did actually have to run off to a meeting, so they said their goodbyes. Zuko promised they’d catch up properly soon before hurrying away, leaving Sokka to get settled in. 

And then two days went by, and Sokka got fed up. Two days, he’d been in the fire nation palace for two days already and done nothing but sit in tiresome meetings. First that boring dinner to kiss the ass of a rich fire nation merchant, then an official visit with Republic City’s representative in the Fire nation, an endless debate with the Fire nation’s minister of agriculture over decreasing exports to Republic City, and then an ‘unofficial catch-up’ with the southern water tribe ambassador to the fire nation – in which the ambassador spend most of her time discussing just how much she wanted to leave the fire nation. Don’t underestimate him, he’s a man of politics, but one can only last so long. All of this on top of the fact that he had barely even seen Zuko, one of his best friends, the whole time he’s been here. He might be the Southern Water Tribe representative on Republic City’s council but he still knows how to enjoy himself outside the stuffy council chambers, and he was ready to force Zuko to as well. 

So Sokka, understandably, forced his way into Zuko's study with a very large bottle of rice wine and dinner (or, rather, a feast) on the way from the kitchens. Zuko barely bothered to tear his gaze from the letter he was reading as Sokka crashed into the room, only betraying his surprise with a slight raise of his eyebrow. 

“Zuko, we have been on the same continent, for the first time in three months I might add, for almost two whole days and I’ve barely even seen the back of your crown.” Sokka said, dropping the bottle and two glasses on the table unceremoniously before he started shuffling away the papers on Zuko’s desk, despite his protests. “Come on, put the work away were having a boy’s night!” Sokka grinned, throwing himself down in a chair opposite the mess of Zuko’s desk as he groaned.

“Sokka, do you understand how much work I have to do right now? The harvest festival is coming up, not to mention the trade negotiations in Republic city soon, I really ca-“ Sokka held up a finger and interrupted Zuko.

“Bipbipbip! No, no excuses Zuko, were doing this. I’m bored.” Sokka said, opening the bottle of wine and pouring two generous glasses. 

“Sokka please-“ 

“Nuh-uh your firey-ness, drink up, then talk.” Sokka interrupted yet again, holding his glass up to Zuko for him to clink. Zuko raised his eyebrow at Sokka again. This time, however, it was with clear disdain. He furrowed his brow, grimaced, looked up to the sky as though pleading with Agni for his salvation, before sighing heavily and lifting his glass up to Sokka’s. 

“Cheers then, I guess.” Zuko grumbled, touching his glass to Sokka’s and promptly lifting it to his lips to drink half of it down, coughing from the light burn of the rice wine as soon as he swallowed. Sokka smirked and followed suit, finishing his glass easily. Zuko pursed his lips, exhaled through his nose in preparation, and finished the glass.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it Mr Firelord?” Sokka said as Zuko coughed a bit more. Sokka waited for Zuko to compose himself again, grinning widely as he watched his friend inhale deeply to chase away the burn. Zuko slumped back in his large chair, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know how you stand this stuff, and how did you even get in here? I ordered not to be disturbed.” Zuko said, glaring at Sokka around his fingers. Sokka shrugged and winked. 

“I have my ways” he said, prompting Zuko to roll his eyes at him fondly, his amusement creeping across his features. Finally, Zuko allowed himself to smile, letting his hand fall from his face into his lap. 

“I’m glad you’re here Sokka, it’s been too long since you came through for a visit.” Zuko said, the warmth in his expression bleeding into his words. Sokka hummed in agreement as he topped up their glasses.

“You know I love the city, Zuko, even if you’re in it.” Sokka said, wiggling his eyebrows at Zuko as his words elicited another groan. “Anyway, I’m here officially – more or less. Meetings all this week, maybe some jerkbender bonding time. So far I’ve just been updating people here on what is actually going on since all the official letters were lost in the winter storms. It’s caused mayhem in the council chambers, that’s for sure. Maybe now spring has come I’ll actually receive the boring contracts I have to approve before they’re supposed to be implemented.” Sokka said, rambling a little. Zuko furrowed his brows slightly in sympathy, he knew the issues winter caused all too well. 

“Thank Agni for calmer seas, and calmer council members.” Zuko muttered, lifting his glass in salute before taking another long drink. He didn’t cough this time, having grown accustomed to the feeling of the rice wine as it tickled his throat. Sokka mumbled in agreement and matched Zuko’s salute. Someone knocked at the door and Sokka told them to enter before Zuko could even open his mouth. Servants made their way in to Zuko’s study with their heads lowered, carrying heaping plates of food to a low table in front of a long bookshelf on the other side of the room. Sokka stood, picking up his glass and the bottle and walking over to the table, thanking the servants as they left and setting the bottle down on the table. He looked back to Zuko and gestured for him to come sit with his head, then sat down cross legged on a cushion in front of the table. Zuko heaved himself from his chair, picking up his glass and walking over. He took a moment to take in his friend, really looking at him for the first time since he’d come back to the fire nation. Sokka was wearing a sleeveless tunic with fur hems and gilded buttons at the collar. It was delicately embroidered across the front, and he’d paired it with a comfortable looking pair of blue linen trousers. His hair was slightly longer than it usually was, tied up neatly in a wolf tail. Sokka’s face was framed with two short braids woven with beads, and he was clearly letting his stubble grow slowly into a beard along his sharp jawline. His tunic barely reached his mid-thigh, Sokka preferring clothes he could actually move around in. Zuko felt jealous for a moment as he walked over to sit at the table in his heavy, long robes, kneeling on a cushion in front of the table. Sokka immediately put an empty plate in front of him and started filling it to the brim with various dishes, babbling all the while. Zuko only offered grunts and hums to acknowledge he was listening as he sipped at his wine. Once both their plates were full, Sokka dug in enthusiastically, somehow still managing to talk. They ate and chatted for a while, finishing their plates and emptying their glasses. It was comfortable, good, as it always was. Zuko found himself smiling almost constantly, Sokka laughing and smiling along with him as he told ridiculous stories, most of which Zuko had already heard, to fill the time. Sokka filled their glasses again, his eyes flitting from Zuko to the glass again as he poured. If Zuko wasn’t mistaken, Sokka seemed a little nervous, suddenly. 

“So, Mr. Firelord, I’ve been talking to Iroh.” Sokka said, his voice taking a slightly serious tone. Zuko rolled his eyes, just barely holding in a groan. Talking to Iroh was never good. 

“Sokka come on, can’t we just-“ Zuko was cut off yet again. 

“Nope, sorry. Iroh says you’re working too hard. I mean, seriously Zuko what is there to do for fun around here? I’ve only been here two and half days and I’m bored to tears!” Sokka said, lifting his glass as he waved around the room. 

“It’s not that bad,” Zuko shrugged “I usually train in the morning, and I visit the gardens sometimes!” Zuko said, pathetically attempting to think of any activity that didn’t involve paperwork or diplomacy. Sokka raised his eyebrow at Zuko sceptically.

“Really Zuko, are we really going to count the turtleducks as your friends? We’re worried about you. Since Mai left and the Kyoshi warriors went home you haven’t had anyone under the age of sixty step through the palace doors.” 

“Hey, Katara and Aang just visited, and Toph!” Zuko said defensively. Sokka looked genuinely surprised for a moment, putting his glass down on the table and leaning towards Zuko slightly. 

“Zuko, they were last here five months ago. I was the last person to visit the palace.” Sokka said quietly. It was Zuko’s turn to be surprised this time. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, stuttering when he actually spoke.

"I-uh, I.. Really?” Zuko whispered. He leaned his elbow on the table and brought his fingers up to run over his lips as he thought to himself, staring at nothing as he tried to piece together where all that time had gone. 

“Yeah, Zuko, nobody has seen you the other side of a mound of paperwork for nearly half a year.” Sokka inhaled deeply and sighed, fiddling with his glass on the table. “Toph told me she misses you.” That got Zuko’s attention, Zuko meeting Sokka’s eyes. Zuko’s fingers slipped from his face and hung still in the air in front of him. “Maybe you should go on one of those wild trips of hers sometime, or, I don’t know, crash an earth kingdom banquet and make some friends… maybe meet somebody.” Sokka said, his voice hesitant. Zuko sat up immediately, looked irritated. He had quickly realised where Sokka, or rather, Iroh was going with this. 

“So that’s what this is about?” Zuko said, clenching his fist. “Have you all been exchanging letters pitying me? Poor Zuko, Mai left him all alone with the big bad council, he only has turtleducks for friends!” Zuko spat bitterly, his temper getting the better of him. Sokka spluttered indignantly, lifting his hands in the air in exasperation. 

“No , Zuko! In the names of Tui and La, you need to do some things for yourself, man, you’re gonna go crazy staring at the palace walls all day.” Sokka raised his voice. “Fuck, Zuko, I don’t care if you’re alone for the rest of your life, I just want to make sure you’re happy!” Sokka finished. He breathed deeply for a moment before starting to mutter angrily under his breath about dramatic firebenders. Zuko looked shocked at Sokka’s outburst, staring at him blankly. Sokka didn’t wait for Zuko’s response, he knew there wouldn’t be one. Zuko was still terrible at expressing himself, and Sokka couldn’t force him to understand just how much his friends care about him. Sokka lifted his glass and emptied it, putting it down on the table heavily. The sound resonated in the silent room. “Zuko, would you drink your damn drink so we can have some fun?” Sokka said in an exasperated tone, offering Zuko an awkward smile. Zuko nodded, lifting his glass obediently and draining it. Sokka refilled their glasses, taking a moment to read Zuko’s mood as he did. Despite Zuko’s silence, Sokka could tell what he needed and immediately launched into a rant about the Earth Kingdom Councillor Ho on the Republic city council, effectively breaking the layer of tension that had settled in the room. Zuko seemed grateful, his stressed aura of slowly seeping away as they managed to find a comfortable routine again. 

Zuko, however, wanted to show his thanks for Sokka’s concern somehow, so he thought he should try and return the favour. They retired to Zuko’s rooms, sitting on a plush sofa in his sitting room with a fresh bottle of rice wine and the remains of dessert on the low table in front of them. Zuko took advantage of a lull in the conversation to broach the topic of Suki, a topic that was usually the biggest drama in Sokka’s life, and was all Zuko could imagine Sokka might need advice on. 

“So, uhhh, work aside, how is it?” Zuko said awkwardly, his eyes flitting between Sokka and his feet. Sokka glanced at Zuko in confusion and Zuko realised he hadn’t specified what ‘it’ was. “Suki, I mean. It means Suki.” Zuko silently cursed the amount they’d drunk already that evening. It only served to amplify his lack of tact around emotional topics with friends. Zuko lifted a hand to fiddle with his glass in his lap, his long fingers dancing along the rim. Sokka exhaled slowly. 

“Yeah, yeah it’s good, we’ve been good.” He said, nodding his head as though he was trying to convince himself of his words. “You know, a couple months apart was a good idea, we could both take a step back. Breathe a little, you know?” Sokka continued, swirling the liquid in his glass around as he spoke. Zuko snorted.

“Yeah, I heard all about the 'breathing' you’ve been doing in Republic city from Toph. She seemed thrilled to tell me every gory detail of your joint exploits over those months” Zuko said, meeting Sokka’s eyes with a teasing grin. Sokka looked a little embarrassed. Maybe, if it were daylight, Zuko could have spotted the light blush that spread across his cheeks. 

“I’m sure she exaggerated greatly” Sokka said, seemingly unimpressed. Zuko hummed in doubt. He knew Toph always loved to visit Sokka when he was single, aiming to be as much of a bad influence on him as she could for however many months he was separated from Suki. Zuko enjoyed the wild stories Toph would tell whenever she came to visit, really he did, and he would only wince a little when Toph told him about some beauty Sokka had taken out on a date – because of course he did, he’s Sokka, a (sometimes) eligible bachelor, war hero, important politician, engineering genius, who wouldn’t go out with him? Toph often made it sound like half of Republic city was knocking down his door the minute they heard Sokka was single, though Zuko suspected that part may have been a little exaggerated. 

“I don’t know Sokka, sounds like you guys have a great time.” Zuko said, lifting his glass to take a sip through his smile. He put the glass on the table, deciding he’d had quite enough for now. Sokka noticed, but opted to keep his glass in his hands, more used to the rice wine than Zuko was. Sokka knew that the he usually only ever drinks a much lighter plum wine, but it’s far too sweet for Sokka’s tastes. Sokka nodded at Zuko’s comment. 

“Yeah, we really do. It’s great living in a big city, there’s always a lot to do.” Sokka said noncommittally, clearly reluctant to go into further detail with Zuko. He drained his glass and immediately filled it again, pointedly topping up Zuko’s glass where he’d abandoned it on the table.

“I wish I could visit more.” Zuko said quietly, almost as though he was talking to himself. He saw his newly filled glass and picked it up again, giving up on not drinking. 

“It’d be nice if we could all see each other more, honestly. We’re so far apart from each other all the time. You’re here, Toph is always who-knows-where, Katara and Aang fly around the world for most of the year, Suki… Suki is on Kyoshi Island most of the time. Or in Ba Sing Se.” Sokka said with a bittersweet tone in his voice. He seemed a little sad, but honestly Zuko couldn’t tell very well. Sokka used almost the same face when his favourite dish were sold out at a restaurant. Zuko cleared his throat, once again taking the opportunity to talk about Sokka’s issues. 

“Is that why, uhh, why you guys break up a lot?” Zuko asked hesitantly. Sokka looked up to meet Zuko’s eyes, then looked away, gazing at nothing as he took a moment to think. 

“Yeah, that’s part of it. To be honest, we fall in and out of love with each other a lot.” Sokka said sheepishly, looking back at Zuko. “Really, we just kind of follow whatever we’re feeling. Honestly, Zuko, it’s just – when it’s good it’s just _so good_ , you know? I don’t want to let that feeling go.” He shrugged. Zuko nodded awkwardly. In truth, he didn’t get it at all. Or maybe he did, actually. Except for Zuko, Sokka was that feeling. 

“Right so,” Zuko adjusted himself on the sofa as he spoke, turning his body to face Sokka and lifting his legs up to sit cross legged opposite the other man “if you fall in and out of love a lot because of distance, why don’t you just move in together?” Zuko said, as if it were so simple.  
Sokka sighed and turned his body towards Zuko too. He lifted his arm to lay across the back of the sofa, and bent his knee up on the sofa so he could face him comfortably. 

“Look, Zuko, it’s not that simple. I’ve only been on the council for a few years now, and Suki moves around a lot. Neither of us is willing to change that right now.” Sokka explained. It sounded practiced, like he’d already explained it a hundred times before, even it was only in his own mind. Zuko furrowed his brows in confusion, looking almost annoyed, maybe at Sokka, or maybe just his half-hearted explanation. 

“Well that’s stupid, if neither of you will settle for the other, then why are you even together?” Zuko asked, again his tone screaming that really, it should be that simple. Sokka started to get irritated, titling his head back to look up before returning his gaze to Zuko. 

“I don’t know Zuko, because we love each other maybe?” Sokka snarked. “I don’t know if it’s going anywhere but, well I guess we’re only twenty-two, I’ve got the rest of my life to figure it all out.” Sokka said, sounding frustrated. Zuko watched Sokka as he lifted his glass to his lips, taking a long drink. He wondered to himself whether Sokka had ever stopped to think about this before, or he was thinking it all through aloud, right now. 

“Sokka, I get that we’re still figuring shit out, but you and Suki have been dancing around each other for six years. I don’t know, I just don’t get it I guess.” Zuko said, shrugging. Agni knows he understands what being confused about your feelings is like, but even Zuko hopes that six years dating someone on and off would tell him whether or not he wanted to be with them. Sokka groaned and shuffled in his seat, lifting his hand off the back of the sofa to scrub at his face. Zuko suddenly realised how close they were sitting, having gradually shifted closer as the conversation became more serious. 

“Like I said, it’s not that simple.” Sokka let his hand drop to rest on the sofa again, his forearm lying next to Zuko’s head. “What about you and Mai, you’ve literally never spoken about her to me. I let it go because, well, I see you like four or five times a year and I didn’t want to push you, but…” Sokka shook his head, seeming to regret whatever sat on the tip of his tongue. “Whatever, lets drop it.” Sokka said. Zuko felt his temper spike as Sokka held back his words. He didn’t need to be protected, least of all from his friends opinions. 

“No Sokka, what about Mai? What do you want to know, why she left me?” Zuko said, his irritation clear despite the fact he refrained from raising his voice. His drink lay forgotten in his hands, nestled between his crossed legs. Sokka furrowed his brow.

“What? No Zuko, like I said let’s just –“ this time Zuko interrupted Sokka, shaking his head strongly.

“For fucks sake Sokka, just say what you wanna say.” Zuko said, pushing his friend to respond properly. Sokka glanced at the glass resting in his hand on his leg for a long moment, before looking back up at Zuko. 

“I guess I want to know why you even stayed together in the first place. It’s- I mean, it was pretty clear that you were just close friends.” Sokka shrugged. He tried to say it as casually as possible, tried to keep his voice clear of judgement entirely les Zuko feel attacked. He searched Zuko’s face for a reaction, but found none, Zuko was looking at Sokka with a blank expression, closing himself off entirely. 

“I didn’t realise it was that obvious.” Zuko mumbled. In fact he hadn’t realised it himself until Mai told him when they broke up. They weren’t made to be a romantic couple. 

“Well, I guess a lot is obvious to close friends.” Sokka said. He had barely resisted rolling his eyes at Zuko, telling him I know you, I can see right through you Zu. Sokka was looking avidly at Zuko’s face in an effort to keep his gaze. Zuko looked back, then to his glass which he lifted quickly to drink. He didn’t realise the glass was empty until the rice wine stopped coming, and he let it fall back into his lap. Shame, he was grateful for the distraction while he was under Sokka’s intense gaze.

“Honestly? I didn’t even know.” Zuko whispered, his voice catching in his throat. He cleared it and continued, talking louder now. “I thought that was like, it, you know? And it didn’t hurt that our match was advantageous politically.” Zuko shrugged, that awkward feeling seeping in again now the attention had returned to him. Sokka moved his hand from the back of the sofa to rest on Zuko’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. 

“By La, Zuko, this is what I mean when I say you have to start thinking about what you want. Seriously, you stayed in a loveless relationship for four years because you thought it was a good political match? You just thought, why not?” Sokka said, emphasising his words with soft squeezes to Zuko’s shoulder. Sokka felt himself grow warmer, and as drunk as he was he couldn’t tell if it was a side effect of fondness for his struggling friend, the rice wine, or just being this close to a damn firebender. Zuko looked up to meet Sokka’s eyes after he gave one last squeeze to his shoulder, searching for something, anything there to tell him that what he was about to do was okay. They were still sitting close, and Zuko couldn’t help the warmth that started to roll off him in waves or his heart starting to race in response to their proximity and Sokka’s heartfelt words. Sokka smiled kindly at Zuko as they held each other’s gaze. “Zuko, you need to reach out and take something for yourself, for once.” Sokka said. 

He had barely finished his sentence when Zuko leaned forward to touch his lips briefly to Sokka’s, letting a hand creep up to hover lightly over Sokka’s neck, barely touching him. Sokka’s eyes widened in shock, but stayed fixed to Zuko’s. Neither of them had time to close their eyes before the aborted kiss. Sokka looked slightly confused, but curious, his eyes flittering over Zuko’s face as he silently questioned what just happened, as his brain worked overtime trying to process _what just happened_. Zuko raised his eyebrow in surprise at his own actions, leaning his head back from Sokka. His hand continued to grip the curve of Sokka’s neck as he stuttered, trying to find the words to explain or say anything at all.

“I – fuck Sokka I’m so sorry, I-“ Zuko was cut off as Sokka shushed him, still looking into Zuko’s eyes. Sokka couldn’t tear away his gaze, and Zuko watched as his furrowed brows and wide nose twitched in thought. Sokka’s expression moved away from (drunk) dazed and confused, towards understanding and, finally, something Zuko couldn’t decipher. Zuko sat in silence, in terror of what he’d just done and how his friend might react. Sokka wouldn’t be homophobic, would he? Zuko realised Toph had never bothered to mention pronouns when regaling his hot dates in Republic city, just using odd nicknames and descriptions like ‘annoying short idiot’. 

Sokka, meanwhile, was breathing slowly, his gaze calculating. What if he just went for it, he thought, but Suki – does he even really love Suki? Would she ever find out? Sweet moonpeaches Zuko looks beautiful in the night’s light, how had Sokka never noticed the way the flames of candlelight reflect in his eyes, dancing in his golden irises, or how his black hair blends and fades into the shadows. Sokka was effectively distracted now, his eyes roaming over Zuko’s face. His hand still sat on Zuko’s shoulder, his fingers squeezing randomly as he rambled in his own mind. Zuko focused on the feeling, grounding himself in those small spikes of pressure. Zuko lifted his free hand to Sokka’s as it twitched on his shoulder, letting his fingers lay over rougher, thicker ones to try and calm their twitching. The touch seemed to bring Sokka back into the present, dragging him out of his own thoughts. He started nodding to himself, but the movements were so small Zuko wouldn’t have been able to see them if he wasn’t just inches away from the other’s face. 

Suddenly, Sokka moved his hand from Zuko’s shoulder to grip the back of his neck and pull him in, claiming his lips in a bruising kiss. Zuko’s noise of surprise was muffled between their lips, then he tightened his grip on the crook of Sokka’s neck, pulling him even closer. This is what he wants, he thinks, and he realises that he’s wanted for a long time. Why hadn’t he let himself have it sooner? That’s when it hits him. 

“Wait” Zuko said, mumbling against Sokka’s lips as they were pressed tightly against his own. He managed to tear himself away from the kiss. “What about Suki?” He asked. Sokka winced visibly and then shook his head. 

“Nope, no more thinking, too drunk for thinking, more kissing.” Sokka said, clearly throwing caution to the wind as he pulled Zuko back in to kiss him. Zuko hummed into the kiss, in enjoyment and confusion, but let himself sink back into Sokka’s grip. He pushed Sokka back roughly, accidentally nipping his lip in his efforts to deepen their connection. Sokka moaned as Zuko almost pushed him flat against the sofa, letting his glass fall from his hand and smash to the ground. Both men startled out of the kiss at the crash, glancing to the ground and quickly meeting each other’s gaze again. Sokka had already started laughing by the time Zuko had figured out what had actually happened, then Zuko joined him in laughter, pressing his head against Sokka’s chest. 

“We need to go to bed.” Sokka said, a smile still painting his face. Zuko pulled his head from Sokka’s chest and for a split second he let his disappointment show on his face. Sokka noticed. “Together, Zuko.” Sokka said, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. Zuko’s eyes widened as he realised what Sokka was implying. 

“O-oh, right. Yes, please.” Zuko said awkwardly. He untangled himself from their embrace to retrieve his forgotten empty glass from between his legs, setting it down on the table. He and Sokka stood up, leaning on each other as they stumbled to Zuko’s bedroom, not even bothering to shut the door behind them as they fell into another sloppy, passionate kiss on their way. Sokka didn’t think about it any more, or rather, he likes to tell himself he didn’t. He hopes desperately that the rice wine, or maybe just the guilt, will allow him to forget that Zuko reminded him that he does, in fact, have a girlfriend. Forget that he reminded himself, right before diving in head first anyway.

So, he didn’t think about it and, at least for that moment, lying under Zuko in his impossibly warm, silky bed, he let himself forget.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-read this today and spotted errors and things I'd like to change. Maybe one day I'll amend it. 
> 
> Please comment and give kudos, ta!


End file.
